On Being Eaten By Crow (2)

"There is an old medicine story about Crow. Crow was once so facinated by his shadow that he poked and scratched and pecked at it ... until it became alive. Then his Shadow ate him. Now Crow is Dead Crow."

-- David Carson

That's one way to tell the story. I saw another telling, just before I left to San Diego last month. I was travelling South to spend a week reclaiming some long-lost parts of myself. "Shadow Work", as Jung would have called it. So you understand my surprise when the morning funnies contained the following comic from the remarkable artist Carol Lay:



It was quite the vivid warning to receive the morning before embarking on serious shadow work. It was only after I returned that I recognized it as Crow's Story, told in an even darker and more sinister tone. But there's no redemption in Lay's telling: just confusion, sorrow, damnation and death. I took it as a dark reminder about the risks of letting one's shadow run too far out of control. The boss will demand that work be done; the mortgage must be paid. Allow your Shadow too much control and it will destroy you. Sure, go out and meet your dark side, and get to know her, but don't get carried away.

But Crow's tale gives a different spin on the entire matter -- Truth and Power lay on the other side of death. Only Dead Crow can know the Sacred Law and understand the secrets of shapeshifting. Those are not powers for the living.

Perhaps the only difference betweeen the tellings is in the point of view. Lay's tale is told by the Ego, that old myopic warden of the soul, who always seems to confuse what's best for Him with what's best for Us. Ego's job, you see, is to keep us from getting our damn fool selves killed. At least that's the way He sees it. Since he's so blind and confused, though, he's decided that the best way for him to do his job is to keep Himself from getting killed.

Even worse, Ol' Ego has also decided that the best way to keep us from accidentally killing ourselves -- and Him in the process -- is to keep us under lock and key. Originally, we were told that this was for our protection. It's a dangerous world out there, after all, and if we don't do everything *exactly right* then we're liable to get ourselves hurt. Much better that Ego protect us inside these castle walls, where we can't accidentally mess things up. Sure, there's a lock on the castle gate, but that's to keep the bad guys out, not us in. And while we rarely get to see the sky or roll in the grass or smell the sweetness of the air just after a summer rain, at least we're safe in here. Let Ego face the world for us -- he's smart and crafty and strong. We'll stay inside.

But Crow knows the Truth. Crow knows a prison when he sees one. Crow knows that "warden" is just a polite term for "jailer". Crow saw those bars closing in long ago and he flew for the sky before he could be trapped. He's still miffed that the rest of us are rotting in here, for Crow knows that the cost of living is the everpresent risk of death. Trading the sky for a jail cell will never change that fundamental Truth.

Crow also knows that the Ego is a phoney bastard. Sure he claims he's looking out for our best interests, but he long ago decided that His best interests were our best interests. Power corrupts, after all, and once He locked Us up, that bastard had stolen our Power. Now he can't tell real right from wrong. Even if he tried to do right by us, he'd still end up hurting us. Look at what the bastard's done to us all our life in the name of kindness and protection.

So why shouldn't we look for a jailbreak? Crow is free, he can show the way. But Ego ... poor Ego. He'll never see this as anything but Death, for to him it is Death. He's so mixed up in roles and responsibilities and expectations that loss of his status as Warden of the Fortress will kill him. For us to be free, he will have to die.

Come on, Ego -- it's not so bad. Crow enjoys being Dead; you will too. You'll just have to trust us on this one. Aren't you bored of these dull grey walls yourself? You'll never learn how to shapeshift while you're still alive, after all.

Come on, let's ride ...